I am frequented by this overwhelming feeling which urges me to get up at once and do something about my life. With time, the untended feeling withers away, but comes back every now and then and whenever I don't respond to it, which is like all the times, I know somewhere deep down that I have missed an opportunity.
But what is a life with no would be's in it. We all moan about how different our lives would have been had we handled things better, had we taken better decisions at crucial junctures of our lives. That is what inspires us to strive harder and when our sincere efforts bear fruits, when we finally achieve something that is worthwhile in our own eyes, the gratification that comes with it is simply exhilarating, a feeling nothing else can possibly match.
But there's inevitably a downside to it too. A streak of failures can breed frustration. When this frustration is not checked by success or a positive step forward towards it for a long period of time, it begins to play on us, foiling our attempts at turning things around, and in turn ensuring bigger disappointments. When this frustration grows beyond a level, it starts showing up in our behavior and body language, reducing us to a meek shadow of our own selves.
The question that looms large is how to strike a balance, how to take a few disappointments in your stride to provoke a strong response but just in time to stem the slide before it turns into a collapse of sorts. In other words, mistakes are necessary to learn how to succeed, but its difficult to figure when you've reached a point where you can ill afford one more. So this most intriguing conundrum has provoked my Insomnia tonight and I am afraid, it’s getting a tad frustrating, I had better get going.